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Blah blah blah complaining to the internet about my problems



i’m genuinely concerned that no one will fall in love with me

(Source: hottermelon, via claireizard)

You are mistaken. It is I who possess a winsome posterior.

Are you looking for a quarrel? Then have at thee! The great Gluteus Maximus shall vanquish all who oppose with great vengance.

(Source: jigglypuff, via whimsicallioness)

sorry, my mom said my anaconda can’t

(Source: cumdurnp, via thischarmingdenis)

Hot damn. I’ve got some Chiapas coffee beans being delivered today.

"Eh, It’s not that bad…"
*Slips a little on the puddle of blood*
"Woah, That was a close one…"